All contents, unless mentioned, are written by me.

transformers_revenge_of_the_fallenPerhaps inappropriate, but for me, Michael Bay’s films are actually porn. I mean, I love “Bad Boys” series but would never considers either of them to be one of the best film on any of my standards. Bay’s best film, for me, is and still “The Rock” which isn’t saying much.

The same thing goes with “Transformers” series. The first film is clearly meant to please the eyes and ears with shiny (dusty) robots, nifty CGI works, and Megan Fox. I personally forgot about most of the “important” plot in the first film. Yet, I remembered clearly when Ironhide dwelled in street action or Scorponok’s first appearance in the desert enhanced by the signature Bay’s slow-mo shot. If that doesn’t qualify for the very definition of porn, then I don’t know what is.

In “Revenge of the Fallen,” the robots were increased threefold in numbers, the duration of the films increased, and there’s a Devastator – perhaps my biggest reason to see this film – a massive robot formed by several combining Constructicons (and I want those toys real bad). I think it is safe to say that the people behind this film knows what works to lure people out to the theaters (more robots, less human, more actions, less plot) and decides to adhere to the old adage, “don’t fix something that ain’t broke.”

I couldn’t care less about the plot. In fact, I’ve already forgotten most of it, right after I stand from my chair. But I do remember a certain feeling that was akin to contempt in one of its very final part of the plot. Shia’s character (I don’t remember his name), and Megan’s character (I don’t remember her name), found something that they shouldn’t and there’s this nasty dude, “the Fallen” who was like the prophet for Decepticons. Somehow, he was pissed at (Optimus) Prime and has this little plot to kill Shia’s character and oh, destroy our little blue planet while he’s at it. Of course, I needn’t tell you how the film is going to end.

It might be argued that when watching films, it is best to just laid back and enjoy what it has to offer. I’d say, when you’re watching too much films and has some hint of passions in it, you won’t see films as mere entertainments anymore. You start by nit-picking it, and before long you’d know what’s wrong with a particular movie and suddenly, ignoring those for the sake of entertainment is just not a viable option anymore.

I went to the “Revenge of the Fallen” with a fairly low expectation. I mean it’s a film about robots, by Michael Bay, and a sequel. However, I was shocked when I found myself underwhelmed with the first action sequence. The comic-relief twin robots are far below my expectation and because we’re going to see them for quite some time, this doesn’t bode well with yours truly here. Sideswipe it’s okay, in fact, I like the dude, but sadly, this opening sequence is also his last memorable sequence. Ironhide is criminally underused and Optimus Prime, is, well, ever since that cartoon in the ’80s where I pledge my allegiance with Destructicons for the simple reason that I liked planes much better than I liked cars, this character has never become my favorite. But of course, he’s the leader and naturally we’re going to see him more and more. So I was already underwhelmed during the first action sequence which supposed to be an appetiser of good times yet to come. But I was ready to give Bay the benefit of the doubt. Sadly, the underwhelming feeling decides to stubbornly linger along.

The film then toned down, went into human scenes and character buildups. Skip. Skip. Skip. More robots. Transforming. Fighting. Rinse. Repeat. Before long, I grew bored with its rotational camera movement, its slow-moed air summersaults, its degrading slapstick comedy (Oompa Loompa? I found that offensive) and the bickering of the twins. At this point, I’m just sitting there and digest all of the scenes with my eyes and quickly discarded it before it reaches some point within my cortex. Buttered popcorns and overly sweeten soda helps a lot here. But hey, that’s just me and you’re going to see the film anyway 🙂

My rating: ** / **** A half star because I love robots, and I want that Devastator (plus its Constructicon parts) toy *yesterday* and another half star because it’s 144 minutes and I don’t feel robbed. It’s still a porn though, and as porn goes, there’s a hint of regret after seeing this film.

P.S. Of all the comments about this film in my Facebook page, there’s only two people who say they love the film. One it’s a friend of mine, and she has just celebrated her 22nd birthday, graduated only recently, and another is unemployed girl, 23, who thought that Tom Cruise is better than Brad Pitt (WTF?!). Go figure.