All contents, unless mentioned, are written by me.

I was casually strolling a bookstore, with Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight” in hand. Now this, happened before the first movie of this ‘saga’ comes out. Whenever a movie based on a book is about to comes out, if possible, I’ve always tried to read the book first. I was indecisive at first, but an overheard conversation made up my mind. There were these two young ladies, around my age, probably a bit younger, definitely single. One of the girl told the other about how the book was one of the best book she had ever read. This got me thinking immediately, this series, would’ve fallen into fantasy or horror genre and I’ve read a lot of these genres that practically, everything on my library consists of these genres. Now even at that, to name one author or one book or one series above the others from this genre is something that should goes with one healthy and lengthy debate. I’m maybe stereotyping, but those girls, they didn’t give me an impression of being an avid reader so therefore, it’s probably wasn’t my cup of tea.

And three successful movies based on this ‘saga’ later, I was right on the money.

This movie is the fourth movie based on this ‘saga’ and the first that I did suffer to see because I’ve got a schedule to keep and nothing else that I haven’t seen is currently playing. It really does perplex me that such devoted fans who would stand in line to be among the first to see this, this, abomination, and then again for a second time, maybe even third, exists. But they are, and in millions at that, too. This movie, as I would suspect to be the case with its predecessors as well, is clearly made for the series’ fans. Everybody else could go fuck themselves for all they care. This is, I think, given the result of the movie, is practically a blind devotion at its extreme. Some would’ve called it terrorism and if you asked me, it doesn’t fall that far from the truth.

Okay, so we spent half of the movie’s overlong 100 minutes running time to show off the wedding of one Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), human and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), vampire. That’s 50+ minutes of slow, torturous story telling. However, I could really see the appeal for its targeted audiences. It’s a perfect wedding, for a quite an ordinary looking woman whose I’ve read somewhere that Stephanie Meyer had made her to be so vague in description that *every* girl or woman could easily slips into her shoes without even trying, to an acceptably handsome Mr.Right whose again, I’ve read somewhere that Stephanie Meyer had made him to be absolutely detailed in description and therefore forcing anyone to accept that he is indeed the one and only Mr.Perfect. So here’s my theory, and again, I’m stereotyping, that a fan of this series, most likely single, had come to see this movie, identifies herself as Bella and sees her own version of Mr.Perfect right there, smiling at the altar for her. Doesn’t necessarily to be Robert Pattinson because they had their very own image of Mr.Perfect already established firmly in their minds before even the lights went out. At this, the movie works considerably well for them, and could do absolutely no wrong. And for the rest of us, well who give a shit?

The next half of the movie could be a teaser to what Part II, which scheduled to be released a year from now would’ve been. But I’m not buying and I hope that there are more competitions next year so I don’t have to waste my time to see it. There was somewhat a conflict there between the Vampires and the Werewolves, but yeah, not on a scale of a bitter war like in “Underworld” movies. In fact, I don’t really understand what’s the huffpuffs between the two and I’m quite sure any twihards could explain it to me in a minute detail about it. As well as how the science works for an undead Vampire to be able to impregnate a human woman. But I don’t really care one way or another. Ever since I overheard that conversation on a book store, I had decided that Stephanie Meyer is nothing but a fluke. And from what I could gather, anyone who has ever read Bram Stoker or Anne Rice seems to have an agreement on that too. That’s a good enough reason for me.

All in all, stay away of this movie if you’re not considered yourself a fan of the series. It’s tedious, slow, overlong, and lifeless. Every god damn puns intended. I still somewhat believed in Kristen Stewart for I’ve seen her in “Adventureland” and “The Runaways.” Alas, as it were, in my mind’s eye she had put a shackle on herself with Bella Swan. Robert Pattinson is okay, at least he was, to a degree, watchable but Taylor Lautner is unintentionally funny. Seriously, beyond his abs (appropriately shown on his *first* scene), what was his value? Yeah, for fans only. Perhaps I’m too old, or I just don’t understand this generation at all.