All contents, unless mentioned, are written by me.

I went into this movie solely because of Neveldine/Taylor factor. I know that they are not exactly visionaries but if you loved both “Crank” movies even if that they are not exactly a breakthrough nor a thought provoking one but super super fun movie nonetheless, you’ll understand exactly my infatuation with Neveldine/Taylor and what would I’ve expected from this movie. But here we are, still in February of 2012, and I had marked one movie, this movie, to be a candidate of the worst movie of the year. How bad? Well, I was squeamish in my seat, itching to just bolt and run from the theater, and at one point, checking my Twitter. Yep, me, checking my phone during a movie. It was that bad.

Well, doesn’t matter what Ghost Rider is and what he does, and why he does it. It is of a very tremendously little interest because I had expected absurdities and wild actions that has become one staple from Neveldine/Taylor I came to liked very much. But instead, the movie gives me narratives, expositions, all the yaddas-yaddas with actions I could only described as merely lazy here and there. I guess they are trying to push the added dimension to this movie. But who cares about it? I know I’m not. Ah, sure, the flaming huge mining machinery is cool, sorta, but when “Crank” which doesn’t even make sense could have a non-stop and hugely entertaining actions, why must they, Neveldine/Taylor I mean, in this movie, tried to squeeze sense into a flaming skull who rides a flying (and burning) motorcycle? It was a futile effort and not even a valiant one as well. If this is not the end of the franchise, then I don’t know, probably the numbers are right. And that is the state of movie making that I don’t want to see. Not in my lifetime, anyway.

I am honestly hard pressed to think of another actor who has worked as much as Nicolas Cage nowadays. He is literally everywhere, one has to wonder why, or how does he keeps getting a role. To be fair, he is the only one in this movie who did a decent job that resembles acting. Everybody else is a throwaway. A body bag that talks. There’s absolutely no chemistry between the talking bags and Nic Cage that I had exercised a fantasy about alerting the authorities of a child molestation possibility when Jhonny Blaze seemingly makes a sort of father/son connection to the child. I had to wonder how does this scene gets out of the editing room. Watching it makes me very uncomfortable. Oh, but Christopher Lambert (though it does not really matter) makes a brief appearance, only to scowl and wither. Literally.

Now what about the plot? Euh, never mind. Looking back, the only memorable moment from this movie is the animation montage from the opening title. And a general rule of thumb still applies here. If a non-animated movie opens with an animation montage, it has nowhere else to go but down.

In the end, I’m rather glad Nicolas Cage had never had a role as Clark Kent because he is such a big fan of Superman but I may be ahead of myself here. *shudder*