I was casually strolling a bookstore, with Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight” in hand. Now this, happened before the first movie of this ‘saga’ comes out. Whenever a movie based on a book is about to comes out, if possible, I’ve always tried to read the book first. I was indecisive at first, but an overheard conversation made up my mind. There were these two young ladies, around my age, probably a bit younger, definitely single. One of the girl told the other about how the book was one of the best book she had ever read. This got me thinking immediately, this series, would’ve fallen into fantasy or horror genre and I’ve read a lot of these genres that practically, everything on my library consists of these genres. Now even at that, to name one author or one book or one series above the others from this genre is something that should goes with one healthy and lengthy debate. I’m maybe stereotyping, but those girls, they didn’t give me an impression of being an avid reader so therefore, it’s probably wasn’t my cup of tea.
And three successful movies based on this ‘saga’ later, I was right on the money.
This movie is the fourth movie based on this ‘saga’ and the first that I did suffer to see because I’ve got a schedule to keep and nothing else that I haven’t seen is currently playing. It really does perplex me that such devoted fans who would stand in line to be among the first to see this, this, abomination, and then again for a second time, maybe even third, exists. But they are, and in millions at that, too. This movie, as I would suspect to be the case with its predecessors as well, is clearly made for the series’ fans. Everybody else could go fuck themselves for all they care. This is, I think, given the result of the movie, is practically a blind devotion at its extreme. Some would’ve called it terrorism and if you asked me, it doesn’t fall that far from the truth.
Okay, so we spent half of the movie’s overlong 100 minutes running time to show off the wedding of one Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), human and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), vampire. That’s 50+ minutes of slow, torturous story telling. However, I could really see the appeal for its targeted audiences. It’s a perfect wedding, for a quite an ordinary looking woman whose I’ve read somewhere that Stephanie Meyer had made her to be so vague in description that *every* girl or woman could easily slips into her shoes without even trying, to an acceptably handsome Mr.Right whose again, I’ve read somewhere that Stephanie Meyer had made him to be absolutely detailed in description and therefore forcing anyone to accept that he is indeed the one and only Mr.Perfect. So here’s my theory, and again, I’m stereotyping, that a fan of this series, most likely single, had come to see this movie, identifies herself as Bella and sees her own version of Mr.Perfect right there, smiling at the altar for her. Doesn’t necessarily to be Robert Pattinson because they had their very own image of Mr.Perfect already established firmly in their minds before even the lights went out. At this, the movie works considerably well for them, and could do absolutely no wrong. And for the rest of us, well who give a shit?
The next half of the movie could be a teaser to what Part II, which scheduled to be released a year from now would’ve been. But I’m not buying and I hope that there are more competitions next year so I don’t have to waste my time to see it. There was somewhat a conflict there between the Vampires and the Werewolves, but yeah, not on a scale of a bitter war like in “Underworld” movies. In fact, I don’t really understand what’s the huffpuffs between the two and I’m quite sure any twihards could explain it to me in a minute detail about it. As well as how the science works for an undead Vampire to be able to impregnate a human woman. But I don’t really care one way or another. Ever since I overheard that conversation on a book store, I had decided that Stephanie Meyer is nothing but a fluke. And from what I could gather, anyone who has ever read Bram Stoker or Anne Rice seems to have an agreement on that too. That’s a good enough reason for me.
All in all, stay away of this movie if you’re not considered yourself a fan of the series. It’s tedious, slow, overlong, and lifeless. Every god damn puns intended. I still somewhat believed in Kristen Stewart for I’ve seen her in “Adventureland” and “The Runaways.” Alas, as it were, in my mind’s eye she had put a shackle on herself with Bella Swan. Robert Pattinson is okay, at least he was, to a degree, watchable but Taylor Lautner is unintentionally funny. Seriously, beyond his abs (appropriately shown on his *first* scene), what was his value? Yeah, for fans only. Perhaps I’m too old, or I just don’t understand this generation at all.
Other Posts From: November 2011
- Contagion (2011) Out of context, this is how I imagined one of my most anticipated movie, “World War Z” should be. A multitude of characters, not necessarily related to one another, affected by a single event, and behaved accordingly to it, in their very own unique way. There’s no discernible hero in this movie. They are just […] »
- Fish Story (2009) It’s a pity that as a movie junkie, especially for us who lived in Indonesia, we had to went an extra mile to enjoy a non-Hollywood film. And even at that, unless you’re really looking for it, such films are rarely exposed which makes it a little bit harder to pick the cream of the […] »
- Immortals (2011) Less talk, more fight! That’s how I’d put this movie into a short sentence. Did I like it? No. Sure, the over-stylish slow motion action sequences, a horizontal scroll sword play (obviously in slow-motion) and glorified gory scenes (quite obviously, also in slow-motion) are something to behold and mostly, they are alright. But, as one […] »
- The Adventures of Tintin (2011) No matter how it turns out to be, I want this franchise to continue and hopefully will, eventually, filmed the rest of the adventures. As it turns out, “The Adventures of Tintin,” when it’s amazing, it’s amazing. One of the action sequences beats the hell out of everything that I’ve seen so far this year. […] »
- In Time (2011) It’s probably because of the shadow of his ‘N Sync days that I just can’t seem to “get” Justin Timberlake. This, despite his various roles that actually promises of at the very least, a heartfelt and palpable screen presence. He had it pretty good on “The Social Network” despite being the only thing I picked […] »
- Seeking Justice (2011) Vigilante. Those who decide to not trust the law and taking matters into their own hands, believing that they could play the role of prosecutor, judge, and executor at once, delivering verdicts, making the world one less scumbag. Now that’s a novel idea. But there’s a great power on taking the role of a judge […] »
- Thor (2011) Yes, I know. This movie came out months ago but as the circumstances has it, we, Indonesians could only see it in theater by yesterday. And thus this review. So let’s get this over with. I liked Norse mythology. I think it has no short supply of badass Gods, interesting concept of Yggdrasil, and then […] »
- Real Steel (2011) Wow, another crowd-pleaser sport movie for the year (the other one was a much better “Warrior”) and I figured many, if not most, would’ve liked it. It is, after all, a can’t-go-wrong formula of an underdog story, imbued with an adept father-son drama, with another layer of a boy with his toy/pet/robot as an icing […] »
- Super 8 (2011) They were rehearsing the lines and Alice (Elle Fanning) had stunned her friends with the delivery of her part from the script. And then Charles (Riley Griffiths), the director, spotted an oncoming train comes by. He breathlessly said, “production value” and immediately yells to his crews, all twelve to fourteen years old boys to get […] »